5 minutes in kayseri

“5 minutes?”
that’s how they get you.

i was at a local playground with my girls.
one thing that i love about kayseri
is the high ratio of parks/playgrounds per apartment building.
there are more than 5 parks
within the combined walking distance of a
8-month-pregnant lady
and a 6-, 4-, and 2-year old.
so, we try to visit other parks on sunny days.

this day, unbeknown to us,
we happened to be behind the apartment building
of one of ishaq’s students, burak.
we had been to their home for dinner before.
i guess he saw us on the way home from school.
he came just in time, too.
we were just about to leave when
some curious neighborhood ladies
saw us and wanted to know what was the deal.
the usual: where are you from?
what do you do?
what does your husband do?
how many months are you?
yada. yada. yada.
burak
and another young girl we’d seen
at our local playground
who had asked us all the same questions before
told them the details
beyond what i could relate.
then burak invited us up for tea.

i tried to decline politely
– we’d been out a couple hours,
the girls would be hungry and tired
and ishaq would be home soon –
but he replied with, “five minutes.”
i couldn’t say no.

we entered,
greeted his mom, kadija,
who was already entertaining three friends.
sanaa and rahmah disappeared to her sons’ room
to play with what toys they could find.
(they always seem to make themselves at home.)
we tried to converse a bit.
one of her friends tried to hold aya,
but aya declined to be held
with a shake of her head
and a scoot in the opposite direction.
kadija served coffee in dainty cups the size of shot glasses.
i tried to drink it,
but it was SO strong
and i don’t drink coffee at all.
she took it away two-thirds full.

kadija’s friends left.
i texted ishaq to let him know where we were
since he’d come home to an empty, quiet house.
(lucky him.)
it was getting late and i’d need him to help me get the girls home.
he made it to burak’s,
stayed just a bit to be polite,
then we made our intentions to go home.
burak informed us that his mother was cooking:
we had to stay to eat.

ishaq and i looked at each other.
“what can you do?” our eyes said to each other.
we didn’t want to be rude,
so we stayed.

burak’s father made it home from work,
sanaa helped kadija with final dinner preparations
and then set the table
– that’s my girl! –
and dinner was served:
manta, an excellent pilav
(not a sticky kernel of rice to be found),
tomatoes and onions,
white bean soup,
and stuffed grape leaves.
it was simple and delicious,
AND i didn’t have to cook.
i gratefully helped kadija clear the table.

we made salaat,
and then tried to leave.
burak asked us to stay.
his schoolmate, ahmet, was coming over with his family.
they were celebrating the completion of their exams.
so, we stayed.

i’d left out of the house
expecting to return within a couple of hours,
i.e. without a diaper for aya.
her pull-up runneth over, poor girl.
instead of allowing us to go home,
ishaq went with burak and his father to the local market
to get some diapers.

ahmet and his family arrived.
we had tea,
then cookies.
we tried to go home again.
“five minutes,” they said again.
“just for some fruit.”
we stayed.
aya fell asleep.
we stayed until a bit after 10pm.

when ahmet and his parents made moves to leave
only then were we allowed to leave as well.
burak’s father drove us home.

whereas i’d have to set a date
for company to come over,
it seems that in turkish culture
life is set up to make
last minute guests oh-so-comfortable, mashaAllah.

just be aware what “five minutes” may get you into.