perfect turkish housewife

i’m not the best housekeeper.
if you come over my house
unannounced
what you see is what you get.
you might raise an eyebrow
or two.
you might have to step over a few things.
you might see some used dishes in the sink.
and on the counter.
you might have to sit in the kitchen
while i multi-task being a host and dishwasher,
or sit on the sofa while i fold clothes.
but my kids are gonna greet you happily
like they haven’t seen you in years.
i’m gonna have time to talk to you
rather than hover around you
preparing this or that.
you’re gonna feel at home.
want something to drink?
the glasses are over there
and look in the fridge to see what you want.
if it is clean and presentable,
i probably just finished cleaning
strategic rooms
before you came
cause i got word you were coming,
ishaq did it,
or the cleaning lady just left.

again, i’m not the best housekeeper,
but these turkish housewives are just rubbing it in.
they are so clean
that their trash bin
sits on the kitchen counter!

the shelves in the formal living room
– there are two: one formal and one less so,
but still always clean,
er, until we leave –
and the shelves in the kitchen
all have the corner triangles of little lace doilies
hanging from their shelves
which showcase all the fancy dish sets and silver platters
they received as gifts when they got married
(i’m assuming).

their kitchen is spotless
even after hours on entertaining guests
with 3 children under 6 years
– me and my crumbly bunch –
with a 3 course meal,
then tea, then desert, then fruit and finally nuts.

i’ve been over a good sampling of homes
during my stay here
and they are ALL perfectly the same.
messes are cleaned up as soon as they are made.
dishes are put in the dishwasher
as soon as the food is eaten.
the vacuum has its own lace cover.
the rugs are spotless.
the shoes are lined up.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

there is a group of teacher’s wives
with whom i’ve had a few outings.
apparently they get together once a month
where they chit-chat,
share their latest handiwork
– they knit, do lace-work, sell scarves, and etc. –
and feed each other sumptuous meals
while the children play
and watch TV
– harmoniously, of course –
in the informal living room.

a woman named arsu hosted the most recent gathering.
the food was delicious:
chocolate cake,
some kind of potato-infused bread,
salad, and sesame-covered cookies,
with tea.
(can i get some water?!?)

she let me pray on a cross-stitched prayer rug
that she probably did
the night before.
to rub in all that culinary mastery
and house-keeping genius,
she left every door open
– even the bathroom door –
so everyone / i can see how clean she is,
even after preparing to entertain
10 women with children in tow.

oh, go take a nap, or something.

this is a bit of a rant.
i’m just jealous.
you turkish women are just so darn fabulous.
mashaAllah.
please still invite me over for breakfast / lunch / dinner / tea.
my jealousy will subside a bit with every scrumptious bite.