how to buy a carpet in kayseri

step 1: look like a foreigner
we had just gotten off the bus
and were trying to find our way
to the mall, i think,
when a man in very good english
asked us where we were from
and began to show us the bazaar area
within some castle walls.
he introduced us to kayseri’s famous sujuk,
a kind of cured meat
and pastirima, kinda similar to pastrami.
the owner even gave us a delicious sample.
he gave us a tour of the place
as we walked backed to his brother’s carpet shop.

step 2: sit down for tea and a carpet history lesson
the girls and i got juice.
ishaq got apple tea.
the seller-brother described the different types of carpets
handmade in the kayseri area.
they have double-knotted carpets and
a type of rug called a kilim.
he told us where they were made,
how they were made,
what they are made of (cotton, wool, and — my favorite — silk)
the types of dyes used,
how to tell the quality,
and how to clean them.

they started calling ishaq “brother”
and calling me the turkish word for “my brother’s wife”,
something like “linge”.

afterwards there was a huge pile of rugs on the floor.

step 3: they ask,”which one do you like?”
we go through all the rugs on the floor,
our host picking them up one by one,
asking our opinion.
our innocent reply:
we didn’t come to buy a rug today, but we like those.

step 4: they give you all the reasons you should buy a rug today
ramadan wasn’t a good buying season for us
and we want to break our bad luck…
first we sell to your heart
and then we sell to your money…
i will make very little profit from this…
if you guess my age, one rug you will buy and i will give you one rug…

step 5: you say, “no, thank you, brother. but i when i am ready to buy a rug
i will come to you.”

step 6: they tell you about the turkish saying: you should drink the tea when it is hot…

step 7: your children have to go the bathroom.
have you ever been to a public, squatter bathroom
where the taps won’t turn off?
after one of those
you’re ready to go home
to the safety of your own euro-style toilet.

step 8: the more you say “no”, the more they negotiate and give guarantees
if you don’t like it after you get home
or don’t want to take it back to america,
bring it back and i’ll give you your money back…
come back and pick out another…
give me a little now and pay when you can…

step 9: give the man a down-payment and a handshake
they folded our new “at least 50 year old” carpet
down to the size of a carry-on,
wrapped it in brown-paper
and put it in a plastic bag for us.
seller-brother wrote down and signed all his guarantees.
as the tour-guide brother walked us backed through the bazaar,
it seemed as vendors were asking him to take us into their shop.
during a short stop to buy some apple tea to take home with us
ishaq met a friend of a co-worker who ended up inviting us for dinner on the coming monday.

maybe we got taken / played.
i could just see the script being played over and over again.
maybe we were harassed / cajoled
into buying a beautiful carpet.
the seller-brother is GOOD at what he does for a living.
regardless, we enjoyed EVERY minute of it.