ptyalism’ (pronounced ‘tie-al-ism’)

one of my reoccuring pregnancy symptoms that’s not so pretty.
i have to carry a portable spitoon (an empty water bottle)
around wherever i go.

ptyalism is when you produce excessive saliva.
now, i don’t know if i’m producing saliva in excess,
but i do know that i don’t prefer the taste of my own spit.

at one point i had taken to spraying
bragg’s amino acids in the back of my throat for temporary relief
– about every 3 minutes.

then i’d have to go to sleep with a piece of ginger or peppermint candy
resting at the back of my throat
so i wouldn’t have to wake up to spit every 5 minutes.

so, if you see a woman spitting into a bottle every 3 minutes
or can’t hold a simple conversation cause she’s holding spit in her mouth
until she gets the opportunity to spit,
have pity.
offer her a peppermint
and a moment of privacy.