america’s muslim magazine (spring 06)

i don’t know how this magazine got to our mailbox,
but what timely articles!:
a story on andalusia begging me to travel,
a story on choosing the medium of education for children,
stories on outdoor adventure and vacationing,
and several other interesting articles.

my favorite though
was the one titled
“practical lessons: advice on giving your kids a rich childhood while preparing them for a serious adulthood”
by imam zaid shakir,
who is a part of the very interesting zaytuna community.

let me summarize
to share
and as a reminder for myself:

imam zaid mentions three things that should be fundamental in our education of muslim children:

1. cultivating a fear of Allah balanced by a hope for Allah’s mercy; sometimes we forget the simple truths that Allah’s punishment is real, but so are His mercy and His rewards. the fear can only begin when we are mindful of Allah. we should remind our children that “transgression incurs punishment”. using everyday lessons we can keep our “children’s hopes and dreams alive”, but “also let them know that there is something to aspire towards beyond this world.”
2. encourage a spirit of repentence in our children; “If they tell a lie, we can mention how inappropriate and harmful lies are. We can then add, ‘You are going to have to ask God to forgive you’” which encourages “them to get in the habit of communicating with God.”; to further encourage personal communication with Allah, imam zaid also recommends we get our young children in the habit of nightly prayers. later they can transition to reciting the prophetic invocations.
3. treat people with good character using the Prophet (saws) as our example, but in order to use the Prophet (saws) as our example we must know him. we can make him come alive to ourselves and our children by reminding ourselves who he was and what he looked like, e.g. “what his height was, how he kept his hair, what color his hair was, what his build was, what color his eyes were, how his complexion was, etc.” when we praise our children we should link it directly to the Prophet, e.g. “The prophet will love what you did for that cat beause he taught us to be kind and merciful to all creatures.”

another point:
children should participate in “fun” activities that involve a cross section of the community. activities such as hiking, “provide great settings to involve the children in group devotional activities such as prayer, Qur’an reading, Dhikr, or testimonials” while “also providing a setting where children can interact with community elders in an informal, nonreligious setting…Many children may not appreciate that the local Iman has studied Islam for 20 years…however when they see that [he] can jump over a stream unscathed while their boots are filled with water, they have an accessible basis for respecting the Imam. This opens up doors for a deeper personal relationship that will facilitate their subsequent willingness to benefit from his religious knowledge and experience.”

see www.nomadcamps.com for just such a thing in the DC metro area, alHamdullilah!

some other bits of advice from imam zaid, culled from the prophetic teachings:

• avoid giving our children the very best — of food or material things such as clothing and etc. — all the time. “This teaching is a reflection of the fact that the way of the Prophets, peace upon them, is moderation…when we do periodically give them something they really like, it is so much more enjoyable for them.”
• get children accustomed to manual work, e.g. basic car maintenance, gardening, volunteering
• get children involved in the martial arts as they will benefit from the discipline and confidence/self-esteem

a really cool idea:
“Perhaps we could develop cards about the Prophet (saws) and the companions, just as we have baseball, and basketball cards featuring sports figures. Valuable information about our important personages could be conveyed in this way. Who was the tallest companion? Who lived the longest among them?…this would be an informal way of conveying information that we usually limit to formal settings. Familiarization is a key ingredient in the cultivation of love.”

iman zaid on commercialized network TV:
“The main thing is to avoid commercial network television. The overt and subliminal messages involving everything from the glorification of criminality, to the belittling direspect of elders, crass sexual exploitation, blatant inducements to become involved in destructive consumer culture, and the irreverent denigration of religious themes, makes viewing commercial telvision arguably questional from a religious perspective. Many programs clearly have hidden agendas involving normalizing practices that Muslims hold forbidden, such as witchcraft and homosexuality.”

and he continues: “One of the more destructive effects of television is that it reinforces the false idea that between childhood and adulthood there is an increasingly longer adolescent phase, during which what are functionally adults are permitted to continue to act like children. When we travel to visit the Muslim word, we are amzed to see that in the villages and other areas not deeply affected by modernity, there is no adolsent phase. Older children are working the fields, selling in the marketplace, and taking care of younger siblings just like little adults. The silliness, giddiness, and irresponsibility we see even amongs many college students here in the West is totally absent.”

in conclusion: “we should try to make the space for the children to be children…However, we must let the know that these years are preparation for adult life, and that adulthood is very serious…Respecting [the prophetic concept of moderation] helps us to avoid the extreme of an overindulgent childhood followed by a period of perpetutual adolescence.”

check it out!: America’s Muslim Family Magazine