patience in trials

i was listening to npr today
they were talking to a man who had been separated from his wife and children
in the process of being rescued

he hadn’t slept or eaten in days
because of the worry he had for his family

man…
i think of my family and would never want to be in his place

there is a dua i say when i hear of things like that:
oh Allah
may You give us the benefit of this trial
and may You give us something better
something that only You can give
and through this trial may You forgive our sins

…

i am all about montessori
i’m on ebay trying to get deals,
i’m google-ing everything montessori,
i’m buying books on amazon

i want to help establish an islamic montessori school
i was putting the word out with various folks
alia and i agreed to work on it together
combining our skills
we got hooked up with waduda
who has all the experience a venture like this needs,
but now i can’t get in contact with her
despite several calls

i’m just gonna have to be patient
what’s gonna happen in gonna happen
so while i’ll do what i can
i can’t get all jacked up about what i have no control over

i think i’m gonna give it another week with waduda
and then give her one more call leaving the door open
with something like:
i’m still very interested in being a part of
the creation of an islamic montessori school in this area
for my children, for our community’s children, for the future of islam
should you have the interest and time
i’d love to work with you, learn from you, and support you

it’s funny that one of the things i remember most about her
is her talking about patience

i’m exercising that muscle

…

communication
i need to work on that so the good marriage i have now
can be great

i plan to actively work on communicating
calmly
sweetly
without attitude
and letting go of
anger
cause holding onto it is a sorry way of trying to say
“i’m in control of this situation”
when i ain’t

i’m just acting like i’m 13